Just Hold Him

I was on the plane heading to Atlanta and a mother with 3 boys under the age of 6 boarded the plane. I could tell by standing in the security line it was going to be a long flight.  It was evident that the mother did not know how to handle the distress her boys showed and I found my self feeling sad for the one in the middle.

I didn’t feel sorry for the boy becaue he was the middle child.  I felt sad for him because she had forgotten he too was little and needed assurance.  He was starving for s sense of security, assurance, and connection.  I so bad wanted to ask her if I could hold him but I knew it would not be the same.  He needed to be held by the one who he called mom.  Because she did not read him well, he whined and fussed throughout the trip. She stayed annoyed with him and did not see the need he had from her.

Too often the solutions for our child’s behavior is rght in our hands. If we can remember the power of our touch, a close hug, a calming voice, etc., we can impact our kids when they are scared, fearful, and frustrated. 

Don’t forget that most problems in life are not complex.  They take time, patience, teaching, knowledge of our hildren, and above all, faith in the One who created our children.

 

You Have to Be Kidding!

There is a new CBS Survivor show that is coming out this fall where 40 kids were left alone in a desert camp with no adult supervision for over a month.  The parents were under contract to not contact their children during this time.  The children had to do chores, tolerate bullys without any support or assistance, and deal with the fears that come from being abandoned and isolated.

Now here is the question:  What mother in her right mind would compromise their child’s well being for the sake of an acting career or money?  I am appalled that anyone with an IQ over 80 would let her child be placed in such a vulnerable and potentially damaging situation.

Children are not designed to handle that type of freedom.  That is one of the reasons God created parents. Kids can be emotionally scarred when they are placed in highly vulnerable and isolating situations where they do not feel safe.  Parents, especially mothers, have the duty to make wise and smart choices when opportunities arise.

Let’s think about this a minute.  Would you let 40 kids live in your house without adult supervision for a month without checking on them?  Of course not!  First of all, the state’s child welfare services would be called in and your kids would be taken from you.  Secondly, you know they simply do not have the maturity to handle all the possible crises that life can bring. Third, children need to be nurtured and guided through life daily, not monthly.

Too often parents are impulsive in their responses to doors of opportunity.  Their own unfulilled dreams are often disquised as the child’s which allows the parents to become tunnel visioned in their thinking.  When moms and dads cannot separate their lost dreams from their children’s needs, bad decisions are made and children suffer.

Maybe, just maybe, we need to think it through and ask some important questions: Will my children be safe? Will there be anyone there who can really “get” my child? Why would I let my child be placed in a situation where they cannot communicate with me?  I could go on with about a thousand more questions but you get the point.  Our responsibility is much greater than providing career breaks or making money.  It is the responsibility and privilege of every mom and dad to love their children to the point that they will never compromise their safety, emotional well-being, and trust.