What Counts in the End

Too often we take the early years for granted.  We think we will have time to catch up for the lost times.  We somehow believe things don’t matter and  because they are young, they won’t remember. I wish I could say all of that was true but I can’t.

 When our kids be young adults, we won’t have the power or control we had when they were little.  We will not be able to dictate their behavior, their choices, or their attitude.  In fact, we will have no control at all.

What we will have is the influence and respect we earned along the way.  If we pay our dues and make the appropriate investment, they will care about what we think, want us in their lives, and trust our heart for them.  If we fail to recognize the early years as building blocks for the later ones, we will miss out on the opportunities to speak into their lives when they so desperately need a voice of truth and reason.

Love them well.  Listen to them often.  Pay attention to the things that matter to them.  Believe them when they are scared and create a safe place for them to be vulnerable.  If they know you have heard them when they are little, they will give you a chance to be heard when they are older. 

 

Little Only Once

Why are children in a such a hurry to grow up so quickly?

I want to suggest to you that they are getting that message from home.

Children are being pushed to achieve in ways that are beyond their level of developmental capability.  Ever since David Elkind’s book, The Hurried Child, came out in the 70’s, I have been sensitive to this issue. The book speaks to the fact that we allow, in fact, push, our little boys and girls to act in adult ways.  We think it is cute when they act grown, dress like their teen siblings, and engage in activities that are beyond their years.

I think we rush our children through the early years because as mothers, we are tired by the physical dependency they have on us.  We think once we get them to the next stage, we will slow things down because it is easier.

Wrong!

We don’t stop the momentum of rapid living unless we become intentional in our mothering.

Whoever said taking care of small children is easy has to be smoking something illegal. I don’t think I ate a warm meal for three years after my kids were born.  I was so tired my body hurt.  I had circles under my eyes because I had a little one who had stomach issues and didn’t sleep through the night. 

Being the mom of small children is hard, inconvenient, and overwhelming.  Yet it is a foundational time where trust is being established and security is being formed.  Infants are so much smarter than we realize and we need to appreciate the time as one which we will build on for the rest of their lives.  In the midst of being tired and weary, recognize how important this time is for creating a healthy child.  They will not need to grow up quickly if they sense you enjoy being with them and you are not in a hurry for them to be older.

As a mother of two college kids, I will also tell you that if you enjoy them while they are with you, you will be less likely to have regrets when they leave you.  Somewhere inside you will know you made the most of your time together and they will have unfolded through life appropiately, not abruptly.