I have to tell you that I am really frustrated at the lack of mothering I see among moms who have adult children.  Every day I am see examples of mothers who have simply quit. It is as if they think that because their kids are all grown up that they are on a perpetual vacation.

I recently went through a miscarriage with a friend who was heartbroken over her loss.  When she called her mom, the lecture began that she didn’t need another child anyway. Instead of reaching through the phone with a hug, this young woman felt the sting of her mother’s tongue like a stingray.

I also saw a mother of an adult child harshly talk negatively about her new daughter-in-law to other family members.  How selfish can you get?  I cannot think of a more painful thing for a mother to do to a son than to criticize the woman he has chosen to spend the rest of his life!

I saw another mother talk about leaving her daughter at school with the thought that her job was done and she couldn’t wait to get on with her life.

Are you kidding me?

Her job is just starting…

as a mother of a young adult. 

Our job is not over because we drop them off at college or send them off to war.  It is not over when they marry or have children of their own. In fact, some of our best motherhood days can be ahead of us as long as we understand the siginifcance of our position. 

Mothers need to recognize their tongues will either build walls or bridges.   We have the power to create doubt, questions, and pain. Or we can lend support, have faith, and build confidence in our offspring when they need it most.  They are entitled to make mistakes just like we did when we were their age.

My question is why would we want to be hurtful?  Is that the legacy we want to leave?

Moms need to grow up and be aware that no matter how old are children become, they will always see us through a longing of hope and acceptance.  They will never be too old to hear our words of love, encouragement, and endearment.